Dating an older guy while in high school


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She hasn't even started hers yet. You're at two very different points in your life. Originally Posted by FLChamp.


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Originally Posted by Who? Originally Posted by aa90b. I think as you get older age gaps can be bigger with other adults but she is just a kid IMO so I wouldn't. Inb4 you go to prom OP.

I personally would not go near a highschooler if I was older than The older you get the more appropriate a gap can be but 23 and 18 is straight retarded. Last edited by Machuka; at There are so many variation of 18 year olds A few years gap between 2 sexes is not awkward or weird. Don't fear the judgments of society I'd use the term "date" loosely on this one.

Keep her number in your phone and call her when you have something like a bonfire at the beach to go to.

The High School Relationship Age Gap: How Old Is Too Old? | Let's win college.

Keeping things underground gets tiring and frustrating, not to mention a little overwhelming, really quickly. Because of the taboo nature of our situation, I had to keep Alan hidden from even my bestest of buds. This was really difficult and very isolating. When he and I got into fights, there was no one in whom I could confide, since no one knew he existed. When I wanted to hang out with him, I had to do a lot of sneaking around and lying to the people I loved.

And when the novelty of having an illicit love affair wore off, I had no one to talk to about how confused and upset I was about certain aspects of the relationship.

We don't send regular emails, we send cool emails

Having a significantly older partner severely limits the stuff you can do together, too. Basically the only things I could do with Alan regularly were hanging out in his car or in secluded places like parking lots and dark corners of public parks. Sounds really safe and romantic, right? Not to be all dramatic, but seriously: Your natural answer might be the one I would have given when I was But I encourage you to take a step back and consider the motives of anyone significantly older than you.

Also, adults know that seducing teenagers, even willing, smart, self-aware teenagers, carries with it a power imbalance that is ripe for exploitation, and very often qualifies as abuse. No one who cares about your wellbeing will seek to do this to you, no matter how attracted they might be to your personhood. That, my loves, is fucked. While older people might know more about books and kissing and Good Bands of the Past, they probably also know more about how to manipulate people. I thought it was, like, the absolute greatest thing in the world when Alan knew who Samuel Beckett was.

You might feel like you and your older person are emotional equals, but again, age and gender differences create power imbalances, and those can be leveraged to pressure you into stuff, no matter how self-possessed you are.

Senior in college (23) dating a senior in high school?

When I was with friends or at parties and not immediately answering his text messages, he would become enraged. His logic was that I was being passive-aggressive and uncommunicative by not getting back to him within five minutes, and that this was a childish thing to do. I changed my behavior to better suit his idea of what an adult relationship was like, but now I know that he was being the infantile and scary! All that power-imbalance stuff we discussed in point 5 is really appealing to people who have a need to control their partners, which not only leads to abuse, but is abusive all by itself.

The Older Guy

Alan freaked out when I was with other people. Mar 2, 3.


  • Thanks Betch?
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